No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
