So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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