I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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