dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
