This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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