And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
