haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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