My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
