Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
