You can't special order awesome
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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