No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
