at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
