You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize