well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
