he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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