Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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