he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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