matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
