I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
