It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize