We're facebook friends in real life
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
