The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
