I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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