God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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