we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
