This girl is more easily done than said...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
