I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
