Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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