I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
