i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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