how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
