dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
