Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
