I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Randomize
