Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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