She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
