Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
