seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
