i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
