please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
