if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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