question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
