there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There r osticjed everywhere
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
