Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Send help, water and tortillas.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
