i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Boobs are out for the taking
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
