Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize