So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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