The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
