I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
