This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
