drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
