i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize