Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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