Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize