Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
