At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the day after is always just damage control
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
