i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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