I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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