You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
