Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
