hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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