i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
