if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
