It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
