Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
