Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
