I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
