She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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