Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
