how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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