I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize